


Much Ado at Number 12 Grimmauld Place

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Good Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Multi, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Sane Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Sirius Black Lives, Sirius Black is a sex god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-01-23 10:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21318733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: After Dumbledore's death, Harry and Ron have abandoned Hermione and Ginny to hunt and destroy the rest of the horcruxes on their own. Left behind at Grimmauld Place, Hermione and Ginny pine for newly-returned Sirius Black. Remus worries and frets, Tonks enjoys the situation much more than she should, and Bella...wait, why is Bellatrix Lestrange at Grimmauld Place?(Originally published in 2010)
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black/Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Sirius Black/Ginny Weasley, Sirius Black/Hermione Granger
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Ginny's Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Ginny Weasley was very angry. She hated being treated like a child just because she was the youngest of the seven Weasley siblings. As a young woman about to enter her sixth year of Hogwarts, she found it highly inappropriate that her mother was still dictating her bedtime. Ginny scowled as she thought about the other residents of Number 12 Grimmauld Place enjoying themselves while she sulked upstairs. She slowly pulled open the door of the bedroom she shared with Hermione and stuck her head out just in time to hear a bark-like laugh reverberate through the house. It was him.

Ginny's heart thudded loudly in her chest as she thought about the man responsible for eliciting the rush of emotions inside of her: Sirius Black. It had only been three weeks since Sirius was found unconscious in the Department of Mysteries lying barely two feet from the veil where he met his death. Considered dead for over a year, Sirius's mysterious reappearance and lack of memory of the last thirteen months meant that the best course of action was to hide him inside his ancestral home for protection. Sirius was dealing with this turn of events surprisingly well; gone was the sullen and moody man skulking about 12 Grimmauld Place that Ginny remembered from over a year ago. He appeared to be trying to make the best of the odd circumstances that had given him back his life. When Sirius had initially returned: unharmed but very confused, Ginny's feelings for him had been completely platonic. She was happy that Harry hadn't been robbed of his godfather and Remus could have his best friend friend at his side again. To be fair, they could all use the good news, especially after the gloom that had descended on the Order of the Phoenix after Dumbledore's death. 

Dumbledore's death. Ginny knit her brows together as she pondered over the events that had transpired immediately after the demise of their Headmaster. His murderer had met with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and they'd returned from the meeting convinced that Snape had killed Dumbledore on the Headmaster's own orders. To make matters even more complicated, the former potions master was helping hide two defectors from Voldemort's inner circle: Lucius Malfoy's wife Narcissa and their son Draco. Yet even more surprising was another defection: Bellatrix Lestrange. After her husband Rodolphus was tortured and subsequently murdered by Voldemort to punish Bellatrix for the actions of her sister and nephew, the Dark Lord's once faithful lieutenant realized that there was no place for her in a future where Voldemort was in control. The realization that she was just a convenient pawn in his self-consumed scheme came twenty years too late, but Bellatrix nevertheless turned to the Order for help. Her crimes were unforgivable -- but the information she had provided to Harry had turned the tide in the war for good. 

Bella, as Ginny had come to tentatively call her, was in hiding from Voldemort and his Death Eaters after Voldemort had found out about the destruction of certain artifacts based on her intel. The Order had decided that the best place for her to lie low was the unplottable Grimmauld Place. 

As crazy as it sounded, Ginny had been quite taken with Bella after the initial shock of her appearance. Despite her current situation, the older witch oozed confidence and commanded the attention of those around her effortlessly. The redhead chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully. She could still remember Bella and Sirius’s reunion. The corner of her lip twitched as Bella's cruel smile flashed in her mind as she unapologetically faced her cousin's undisguised glower. 

Ginny, her parents, and Hermione were residing in Grimmauld Place for the remainder of the summer. Remus and Tonks were frequent guests and Bill and Fleur would be joining them when they returned from their quick honeymoon in France. In the last two weeks, Harry and Ron had decided that Ginny and Hermione should not accompany them in their hunt for the artifacts that would allow Harry to eventually kill Voldemort. They had left Grimmauld Place in the dead of the night and had left behind a simple note for the girls. Ginny's mouth hardened into a line as she remembered the tears in Hermione's eyes when she had set fire to the note after reading it. The sheer immaturity displayed by her brother and Harry had broken her heart as well and she wasn't sure if she could ever be with Harry ever again. 

Heartbroken and trapped in this godforsaken house, Ginny was pining for any member of the opposite sex to turn her attentions to. Her options were extremely limited. Tonks and Remus had finally entered into a tentative relationship which meant that the werewolf was off-bounds. And then Sirius came along. Handsome, witty, with his I-just-escaped-an-evil-curtain look in his eyes. Ginny moistened her lips as she thought about the ex-convict. She was still pleased the future father of her children was downstairs, enjoying himself in the company of all the “adults.” (a term Molly was very font of using to force Ginny into following her orders). There had been no repercussions for Hermione in remaining downstairs and she was only one year older than Ginny! It was all very unfair.

But Ginny had a plan. She was the sister of Fred and George after all, wasn't she? After quietly changing into less decent pajamas, she went downstairs on the pretext of getting a drink of water. Making a quick pit stop to the loo on her way to the dining room, she quickly brushed her long red hair and splashed cold water on her cheeks to keep her from losing her nerve. Feeling very confident and mature, she opened the kitchen door to find a concerned Remus, a hysterically laughing Tonks, and a smirking Bellatrix staring at the empty bottle of firewhiskey lying innocously in the middle of the table. The spinner of the bottle, a certain Hermione Granger, was smiling shyly at the man it was facing. One very confused looking Sirius Black.


	2. Secret Admirers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The circumstances of Hermione's drunkenness come to light. Tonks and Bellatrix illuminate Sirius on the situation.

Hermione Granger was very, very drunk. 

In a typical evening, the brightest witch of her age would not openly flirt with Remus Lupin, encourage Bellatrix Black to get a tan, and announce to the residents of Grimmauld place that they would all be playing a very irresponsible muggle game called Spin the Bottle. These bizarre actions had led to the current predicament: the bottle pointed innocuously at a very confused (but devilishly handsome, in Hermione’s opinion) Sirius Black. As Hermione shyly leaned towards Sirius with slightly puckered lips, Tonks and Remus grabbed her arms and hoisted her out of her chair. "I think it's time for bed!" the metamorphmagus announced cheerfully as she and a white-faced Remus half-carried/half-dragged Hermione into the room she was sharing with Ginny.

Ginny Weasley, who had been observing the situation with pursed lips, rounded on a perplexed Sirius. “So when did this happen?” she asked while fixing him with a glare that could rival her mother. 

Before Sirius could reply to Ginny’s accusation, Bellatrix stepped forward in a smooth motion, and firmly pulled Ginny towards the door leading into the kitchen. “Let’s go to my room and have a...talk," she said quietly.

"Woman to woman," she added, when Ginny seemed unconvinced.

The younger witch continued to appear hesitant as Bellatrix took a hold of her right elbow, but didn't have a choice in the matter as the firm grip forced her away from the table where a bewildered Sirius remained sitting. Bellatrix didn't release Ginny until they were safely in her room. Ginny rubbed her elbow and glared at the former death eater as she cast a spell to muffle their voices from any potential eavesdropper.

If rooms could determine personality, then Bellatrix’s room was a shining example. The walls were stark white, and velvet curtains embossed with the Black family crest blew ominously in the breeze from the open window. The only light in the room was from an ancient candle stand perched on the dresser. As she heard the tell-tale sign of the door being locked firmly in place, Ginny spun around to face the former death eater. “So?” the redhead demanded, resisting the urge to step forward on her toes to make their difference in height less expansive.

“She was drunk.”

Ginny felt her cheeks reddening with anger as Bellatrix stared at her cooly, clearly feeling no need to elaborate further. “Even I know that!” she huffed, “But it’s not like her to drink firewhiskey and go completely out of control!"

"...Completely out of control? Ginevra, you sound just like your mother," Bellatrix taunted, enjoying Ginny's indignation at the use of her full name and insinuation.

“To be fair, Hermione didn’t exactly know that she was drinking firewhiskey” Bellatrix mused before being cut off by Ginny’s cry of strangled delight.

"You didn't," she breathed as she stared up at the dark woman who continued to look at her impassively.

The two women continued to stare at each other before Ginny burst into laughter. Bellatrix's lips twitched upwards and she dissolved into a hearty cackle as well.

+

Twenty minutes later, Sirius was still in contemplation over the strange activities that had taken place in his ancestral home. How had Hermione become so drunk from a bottle of butterbeer? And why on earth was Ginny Weasley so upset about the situation? Perhaps she blamed him for Hermione's inebriated condition, Sirius wondered darkly. 

The door of the kitchen opened abruptly and the appearance of a weary Remus forced Sirius out of his ponderings. “Hermione's going to be all right, Padfoot. I guess it was just her first time with firewhiskey and you saw how she chugged it all down."

Sirius's eyebrows disappeared behind the long black strands covering his forehead as his fellow Marauder continued. "I can't say I'm surprised. Hermione isn’t the type to drink like that. Honestly, Nymphadora and Bellatrix should have told her what she was drinking, but…”

Remus pulled up a chair next to his friend and began to gently massage his temples with his fingers. Sirius patted his shoulder comfortingly. “Don’t worry Moony, she’ll be fine. In fact, she’ll probably not even remember anything. And it’s better if we don’t mention it either. Don’t want to embarrass her, eh?”

“Since when have you cared about saving face?” came a snide voice from the doorway.

Remus and Sirius looked up to see a scowling Bellatrix and a grinning Tonks in the doorway. The two took seats at the table and fixed their gazes intently on Sirius. Sirius simply shrugged and refused to rise to the bait. He was tempted to bring up Hermione's advice to Bellatrix about getting reacquainted with the sun but quelled the instinct. 

A knowing smile had spread across Tonks's features and she was grinning at Sirius with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Remus was observing his girlfriend and best friend with equal amounts curiosity and trepidation. “Look Aunt Bella, Sirius doesn’t even know that he has a secret admirer, or should I say...admirers," Tonks stage whispered while jabbing her aunt in the ribs.

Sirius raised his head and looked at Tonks in bewilderment. "What are you talking about?" 

“Don’t look at her like that Sirius. As if you don't know,” Bellatrix drawled as she followed Sirius's piercing gaze. The ex-convict turned his head towards her and narrowed his eyes. Grabbing an opened bottle of firewhiskey, he took a large swig as he considered her words. 

Bellatrix was thoroughly enjoying his lack of comprehension. Without missing a beat, she continued: “After the events of tonight, you should already be aware that Ginny Weasley and Hermione Granger are asleep in their beds dreaming about becoming the next Mrs. Black.”

Sirius promptly spit out firewhiskey in Bellatrix's face.


	3. The Witching Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellatrix has a strange dream. Ginny hatches a plan. Sirius takes a shower at an ungodly hour.

“Hello Bella” an intoxicatingly sultry voice floated over the rumbling of the storm raging outside.

Bellatrix's eyes shot open as she lifted her head to stare at the figure blocking her doorway. Sirius Black was wearing a red silk robe and was wagging his left eyebrow at her in a very suggestive manner.

“What?” Bellatrix stammered but was quieted by Sirius's finger at her lips. How had he moved towards her so quickly?

“Hush love," he purred. "This isn’t the time to talk.”

“Oh really? So what _should_ we do?" Bellatrix asked Sirius, surprising herself with her sudden and overwhelming desire for the man.

Desire! What desire? Bellatrix awoke with a start and sat up in her bed. Casting a quick _Lumos _under her breath, she made a thorough inspection of her surroundings. Thankfully, there was no Sirius (and no red silk robe) anywhere to be found. It had just been a dream. An extremely disturbing dream - but a dream nonetheless. Bellatrix wiped her sweaty palms against her sheets with disgust etched across her features. She could not understand how such an alarming thought had eased its way into her mind. Had the Dark Lord somehow cursed her for her betrayal? Was the horror of fifteen years in Azkaban chipping away at her last shred of sanity? Or did some depraved part of her fancy her cousin? Sirius had been extremely good-looking when they'd both been younger but - _no_ \- Bellatrix shook her head violently to stop her startlingly dangerous train of thought.

As she considered the merits of purging the dream from her conscience with a well-placed memory charm, Bellatrix heard a curious scuffling coming from across the room. Clutching her wand tightly against her thigh, she leapt out of bed and crossed the short distance to pull aside the curtains. The grand reveal was cut short with a squeak from a red-faced Hermione Granger. "Oh, hello Bella. Lovely night, isn’t it?” Hermione stammered while gesturing lamely at the window.

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes at the bushy-haired witch. Several days had passed since Hermione’s ill-fated firewhiskey mishap. While the residents of 12 Grimmauld Place had been careful to not bring up the incident, Hermione had remained shy and skittish around them since. That fateful night, Bellatrix had departed the dining room disgusted at her cousin's antics, and had left behind an amused Tonks, an apprehensive Remus, and a thoroughly pleased Sirius. The latter had initially been rather dumbfounded at the notion of Ginny and Hermione nursing secret crushes on him, but had quickly transitioned to gloating about "_how he still had it_" every time she had the unfortunate experience of bumping into him. Learning that he was the object of desire for the two young women had led Sirius into making himself into “a new man” (his own words). This phrase roughly translated into a much-needed haircut and clean robes.

Turning her attention back to the fidgeting girls, Bellatrix smiled ominously and twisted her wand around a lock of thick black hair. “And why..." she whispered, "are you two cowering in my room in the middle of the night?”

"Oh Bella! It's Sirius!" Ginny exclaimed, staring up at her with unabashed excitement in her eyes. Bellatrix raised one eyebrow to allow the redhead to continue her explanation. "He's taking a shower! On this floor - right THERE! And we thought - well I thought - you could help us - well - _you know!_" Ginny finished breathlessly. Beside her, Hermione was making a feeble attempt at blending into the wall.

Bellatrix was far from pleased. "You want _me_," she growled, "to help two reckless girls get a peek of that mongrel in the shower. Have you gone mad?" Ginny crossed her arms haughtily as the older witch rounded on her companion. "And Hermione, I could never expect something like this from you. Aren't you supposed to be the obnoxious voice of rationality in this house?”

"I didn't even know about this plan! Ginny said that you had stolen Arnold - her pygmy puff - and swore that you were practicing _unforgivables_ on him. I thought this was a rescue mission!" Hermione shot an angry glance at her friend before slumping her shoulders and resuming her staring match with the floor.

"Tempting," Bellatrix contemplated. "But no. Arnold will live to see another day."

Ginny appeared completely unaffected by Hermione's outburst and lifted her chin stubbornly. "You like him just the same as me!" she declared, tossing her scarlet mane over her shoulders. "At least I'm brave enough to do something about it."

"That's completely besides the point!" Hermione replied hotly. "I'm not making up elaborate conspiracy theories to get a glimpse of him - in the - _you know where_!"

As the two witches rounded on each other, Bellatrix put up her hand and stepped between them. "Enough," she pronounced, annoyed at their bickering. She could feel the beginning of a dreadful headache gnawing at her temples. "While I would be mildly entertained if you two dueled to the death for the attention of my pathetic excuse for a cousin... I insist that you save that for another night and another room. Now out."

Hermione was out of the room before Bellatrix could draw her wand out as a further warning for the two girls. "So much for teamwork..." Ginny sighed theatrically as she dragged her feet towards the exit. She gave Bellatrix a final scowl as she closed the door behind her. The older witch let out a deep sigh of relief and made to move towards her bed as she listened to the fading sound of hurried footsteps moving away from her room. Good. Now she could finally end this bizarre night in peace. Curling into her bed, Bellatrix tried to tune out the sound of the small footsteps moving to the right of the hallway when a thought suddenly struck her.

Ginny and Hermione were sharing a room on the second floor, while her room was on the third floor. And to the right of the hallway was Sirius’s bedroom and - _the bathroom_. Bellatrix mentally kicked herself as she realized what the girls were planning. How could she not have noticed? Biting back a groan, she jumped out of bed and flung open her door to dash down the hall towards the bathroom when - THUD! She would have fallen headfirst if something firm hadn’t been blocking her path. Bellatrix looked up and promptly screamed.

Sirius Black stood in front of her in all his (minimally clothed) glory. Droplets of water trailed innocuously from the tips of his long black hair down his torso to an unnecessarily small towel. The ex-convict was gaping at her in shock. “Bellatrix? Why in Merlin's name are you awake at this hour?”

For possibly the first time in her life, Bellatrix could not think of a snide remark to put Sirius in his place. She opened her mouth to form a reply, but her voice had become seemingly lost in the numerous butterflies fluttering annoyingly in her stomach. Luckily for Bellatrix, her embarrassment was short-lived thanks to a pink-haired witch who had leapt out from Sirius's room. “Wait. _You_ were the one taking a shower?" Nymphadora Tonks asked Sirius accusingly. "I thought it was Remus!"

“Last I checked, Moony was not taking a shower. And how did _you_ get into my room? I have roughly a dozen locking charms on that door.”

“I'm a witch,” Tonks deadpanned, looking extremely put out with her discovery. “But Aunt Bella, what are you doing here?”

Bellatrix realized the queer position that she found herself in: standing dangerously close to a minimally clothed Sirius in the middle of the night in her nightgown. As she found herself lost for words for the second time that night, she was saved once again as Hermione hurried out of the closet situated adjacent to the washroom.

"There's doxies in there!" she exclaimed as she halted next to Bellatrix and surveyed her arms for bites. Hermione was making a concentrated effort to look anywhere except directly at Sirius. Her companion had decided to take a vastly different approach. “Oh, _hello_ Sirius,” Ginny drawled, following Hermione out of the closet and not taking her eyes away from Sirius’s glistening body. "Fancy seeing you here," she grinned, fluttering her long eyelashes at her object of lust.

"Yes, such a coincidence!" cried out Tonks with an exaggerated display of surprise. "It's really incredible how you would run into Sirius - on the third floor - where his bedroom is situated."

There was an awkward silence before Tonks threw up her hands for an announcement: "Fate truly works in mysterious ways!. Well, I'm off to bed. 'Night everyone." The metamorphmagus skipped cheerfully across the hallway and down the stairs (tripping on the bottom two steps in the process of escaping the awkward situation upstairs).

Ginny cleared her throat. She had mysteriously sidled up to Sirius during Tonks's departure and was gazing up at him seductively. The man of the hour smirked and focused his attention on her. "As much as I would love to chat Gin, it's really quite late. You should probably be in bed. Right, Herms?"

The girls squeaked in agreement, obviously delighted at Sirius's butchering of their names as terms of endearment. Bidding him goodnight, they slowly made their way down the stairs to their room.

"So...Tonks was hiding in my room because she thought Remus was in the shower. Hermione and Ginny arrived because they knew I would be coming out of the shower and couldn't _resist_ seeing me in such a state. Let's hear your reason Bella."

Bellatrix felt her cheeks heat with anger and looked up daringly at Sirius’s triumphant expression. “Don’t feel so special Sirius. I was just trying to protect those silly girls from your horrific sight.”

Sirius moved unnervingly close and dropped his voice to a heady whisper. “Sure you were. It’s alright Bella. I completely understand everything. This is why you tried to kill me in the first place, isn’t it? Because you lust after me and you just can’t get me out of your head.” Sirius had moved so close that Bellatrix could see the individual droplets of water on his eyelashes. 

“Oh!" a small voice sounded from the top of the stairs. Bellatrix spun around to face an extremely scandalized Hermione Granger. 


End file.
